her vagine was all disorganized.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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