The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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