so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
