No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
