Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
