and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
