I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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