I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
