These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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