He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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