3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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