My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
