screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
