Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I touched a dick in church today
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
