I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
