I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
