Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Randomize
