we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
