Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
