Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
