She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How external is "for external use only"?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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