dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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