Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
