if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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