She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
