the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
