i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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