quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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