Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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