FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
