just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
