She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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