I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
