i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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