OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
