the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
