He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
