cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
