Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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