Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
