As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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