So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
