Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
