I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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