No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
