Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
