I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
