So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
