so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
