is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
